One of the greatest cause of unhappiness - perhaps even the only cause of unhappiness - is comparison. I remember as a young child hearing my mother say, "Comparisons are odious." That is one of the oldest sayings in the English language, and one of the most important.
Essentially all suffering is the result of...
* Comparing what we have (or don't have) today with what we had yesterday.
* Comparing what we fear we might have (or not have) tomorrow) with what we have today.
* Comparing what we have (or don't have) with what others have.
If I own two bicycles while my neighbor owns one, I feel rich, but if I own two bicycles while my neighbor owns a car, I feel that the world has treated me unfairly and I suffer. If I could only crawl yesterday, and can walk today, I am grateful, but if I could run yesterday, and can only walk today, I become angry and resentful.
The way to happiness is what I call Zero-Based Gratitude. Each day be happy and grateful for what you have, independent of yesterday and of other people. Think of Zero-Based Gratitude like zero-based budgeting, the process in which governments and businesses attempt to disregard the spending patterns they have become addicted to, and establish a realistic budget from a base-line of zero spending.
Further reading: Zero-Based Gratitude
7 Secrets of Happy Couples
GRATITUDE - the third Point of Simply An Inspired Life
Oh...so true! Comparisons are just worthless...
ReplyDeleteSo often I hear folks in my age group (60+) lamenting about the "good days that have disappeared." It would be great to see them enjoy today and leave off the depressing attitudes. This article will be helpful in spreading some cheer - hopefully. Thanks for all your encouraging words.
ReplyDeletepj
thank you for your daily inspirational quotes. it helps me find myself at a time that my life has changed and seemed to turn upside down. i realized the impact of knowing what true love is when it is rather too late to make it come true. i am trying to let go and let god. but it seems i cannot go against what my heart cries for. it is there like a clinging vine. i believe that whatever happens is for a reason or a purpose. i wish i could handle this situation well but it will be god who have the final words. i keep on reading your column to make me comfortable and hope to find peace in my heart.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words.
ReplyDeleteMay the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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ReplyDelete