Are you dreading that family get-together or office party? You just know that uncle Harry is going to give you his opinion of politics for three hours, and that Joyce is going to put down every dress in the room. You can stay home, you can just suffer through it, or you can have a good laugh labeling the behaviors.
Stereotyping people may not be considered nice, but there really are personality types, and nothing brings that out like a holiday gathering. Do you know these people:
The Opinion: the man or woman who knows exactly how the world should behave. "If I were President, I'd fix this economy right away by ..." "They shouldn't let dogs bark. I've called the sheriff six times on the guy across the street."
The Know-It-All: The Know-it-all is very different from the Opinion - he or she really does know something useful about everything. It's unsettling - it's embarrassing - it feels a little like watching one of those quiz shows where "people picked from our audience" know the answers to amazing trivia questions. We wonder if the quiz show is faked, but this person is standing right in front us.
The Bully: "The next time my neighbor's dog barks, I'm going to go over there and pound him." "I've got three guns, so nobody better mess with me." "If there's a scratch on my Harley, somebody's history."
The Sob Story: You just know that something terrible has happened to them since the last time you talked to them - even if that were yesterday. The Sob Story can't keep a job or a romantic interest. Their car is always in the shop or about to be repossessed. How can that much bad luck attend any one person?
The Storm Cloud: Joe Btfsplk was a character in Al Capp's Li'l Abner cartoon strip. Joe walked around with a dark cloud over his head. Although Joe was a happy person and loving friend, trouble always followed Joe. If Joe was there, an earthquake, tornado, or swarm of locusts was sure to follow.
The Perfect Life: The perfect job, the perfect spouse, the perfect kids. Never a wrinkle, never a hair out of place. Gag me with a spoon I'm so jealous.
The Egomaniac: No one else exists in the life of the Egomaniac. I did this, and I want that, and pooh on the rest of you.
The Gossip: everything you didn't want to know about Mary's arthritis and Joe's love life.
The Undresser: No, not the stripper, or the streaker, or the lecher - the Undresser is the person who takes apart everyone's wardrobe piece by piece. "She should never have worn those shoes with that dress." "How could she let him leave the house in that shirt."
After you have finished laughing at them, have compassion on all these people. Some - like The Sob Story and The Bully are constantly suffering. The others are generally unaware of how much their behaviors push everyone away. Wish them all well, and have a Happy Holiday.
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