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Thursday, May 21, 2009

Forgiveness is Essential to a Great Relationship

If you have lived in the same home for years, you probably have a lot of stuff stored away. However neatly packed, anything you haven't put to good use for more than a year is probably a burden rather than a blessing. In a similar way, you likely have old stuff tucked away in the corners of your relationship. It is wonderful to dust off your great memories to reminisce and enjoy, but what about the old resentments and perceived affronts?

Forgiveness is essential to a great relationship. The longer you have lived together, the more important it is that you not accumulate resentments that tempt you to call upon them in times of disagreement. Make a vow to keep disagreements limited to the current issue. Avoid sentences that begin, "You always ..." or "You never ..." such as "You never remember my birthday." If something happened long ago, forgive and forget. Even if it happened yesterday, consider granting forgiveness for your own sake as well as your partner's. Forgiveness is especially a blessing upon the person doing the forgiving.

Let today be the day you do an emotional housecleaning of your relationship. Gather up all your old emotional baggage and put it out with the trash. Unlike your grandmother's wedding dress, your leftover emotions are of no value to anyone. Better yet, hold a fire ceremony, either alone or with your loved one. Write each past injury on a small slip of paper and release your attachment to that emotion as you feed the paper to the cleansing fire.

Read FORGIVENESS - the second Point of Simply An Inspired Life

6 comments:

  1. True-but how can the thoughts that are in your brain be erased so that they do not keep popping up over and over again. It is not easy to forgive all, when the brain cannot erase. Who knows the secret? Please tell me!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I dont know any secret. But I can say that if you forgive and move it to the back of your brain it will help you to move on. It is only you that can keep it from poping back up as you would say. It is difficult and may take the guidience of counsel, but I am proud to say I have learnt to deal with my issues that call for my forgivness, ALL on my own and Im 26 and very gratfull that I have learned this strategy at my age. It helps so much to relieve stress from you and your daily life..

    ReplyDelete
  3. How do you forgive and forget when your spouse cheated on you? And is still working in the office with that person everyday? This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, Forgiveness isn't about condoning a behavior - it's about letting go of the stress, fear, anger, pain that holding that person as having 'wronged you' in your head causes you. Forgiveness is a perspective - It allows you to see the positive side to anything. Dealing with the pain of a cheating spouse is horrific, don't get me wrong - but keeping them 'wrong' and 'bad' in your head continues your grief - where as having to deal with this issue will make you a stronger person, perhaps in the future bring you closer together, or see you break apart - but perhaps that is best, because your destined mate is waiting to meet you. All things happen for a reason and forgiveness is a way to let go of the pain, for yourself - it isn't a gift to the person who caused you pain.

    ReplyDelete
  5. bsrbindrakhi@gmail.com
    There is limit for everything. Injury beyond that limit leaves no space for forgiveness. However things may be ignored to let the life go peacefully.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Do not mistake a stepping stone for a stumbling block.

    ReplyDelete

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