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Friday, May 22, 2009

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Acceptance Makes a Great Relationship Even Better

What could be even better than forgiving your partner? For forgiveness to be needed, there must have been a perceived offense that triggered feelings of resentment and anger, but imagine never getting angry or resentful in the first place. Suppose you simply accepted all your partner's actions. In the presence of acceptance, there can never be resentment or anger, and therefore no need for forgiveness.

Your reaction is likely to be, "But he did something bad. She wronged me. It's his fault. She made me angry." Hmmmm... Can someone really MAKE me angry? I don't think so. We get angry when someone acts in a way that conflicts with how we prefer that they behave - nothing more.

Should you accept your partner's behavior? If their actions are violent or threatening, certainly not. If you feel endangered or even just generally unhappy with your relationship, consider ending it. But in the context of a generally happy relationship, accepting your partner exactly as they are is a recipe for creating an even stronger and happier connection.

Consider being more acceptive of your partner's behaviors. It is unlikely that they are intentionally aggravating you. Almost always, they are just doing what they think they should do. Try setting aside your own rules for how they should behave, and adopt a live-and-let-live attitude. Your relationship will become stronger and happier if you do.

Read The #1 Secret of Great Relationships

3 comments:

buddy said...

Some things do not need to be corrected, but simply set aside and move on.

buddy said...

And, then again, some things need to be corrected, and not set aside!

Jonathan Huie said...

While of course there are crucial exceptions, place your primary focus on correcting your own behaviors and attitudes, and on accepting your partner's. The reality is that your partner is unlikely to change. You may be left with only the options of accepting your partner as they are, or leaving them. Continuous arguments and anger are the worst possible outcome.

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